Lessons from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
It’s always interesting to see what search terms bring people here. It’s especially interesting to see what seems to be a hopeful trend towards compassion and unity in the face of tragedy. More often the conversations these national sorrows evoke are less vitriolic and more deeply soul searching – as they should be if we are to change our culture to one that embraces justice, equity and compassion at all levels of human society, and abhors and rejects violence.
The most popular search terms since yesterday? “Darkness cannot drive out darkness” and “Fred Rogers helpers.” I spoke yesterday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s quote. We’ve visited with Fred Rogers here before, too, the benevolent children’s program host who shared “Mr. Rogers Neighborhood” with legions of children for over 35 years.
The reference to “Fred Rogers helpers” stems from a story he once shared: “My mother would say to me,’Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers—so many caring people in this world.”
When Robert Kennedy was assassinated in 1968, Fred Rogers produced a prime time special to help parents cope with the tragedy and with what he thought, at the time, was awful media sensationalism, in an effort to give families ways to talk with their children about tragic events in the news.
“I’ve been terribly concerned about the graphic display of violence which the mass media has been showing recently,” he says in the piece. ” And I plead for your protection, and support of your young children. There is just so much that a very young child can take without its being overwhelming to him. I’ve been very frankly quite concerned about it. … The best thing in the world is for your children to be included in your family ways of coping with the problems that present themselves at any time, but particularly now in this very difficult time in our nation. “
He shares gentle coping suggestions in the video, and in fact, his guidance is still well regarded and highly recommended today, 45 years later. ”Helping Children Deal with Tragic Events in the News,” is as timely as it is unfortunate that it remains timely.
“I’m really grateful to be able to work with you,” he says in the video. ” And I feel it really is work together, you know, in caring for our children.“
You know it is, really, and we need to keep working together to care for our children and each other in kind, compassionate ways, now and forever more.
Say it Again: Only Light Can Drive Out Darkness
“The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes… Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr. (1967) . “Where Do We Go From Here?“
In the wake of today’s Boston Marathon violence, in the wake of Sandy Hook, in the wake of media sensationalism that substitutes the volume of voyeurism for the true substance of serious social commentary and real solutions, this cannot be said enough:
Only Light Can Drive Out Darkness.
The Things That Matter: Fishing for a Real Future
My day job involves working for an organization whose mission is: “To transform our culture by creating a world where science and technology are celebrated and where young people dream of becoming science and technology leaders.”
Those are the words and vision of inventor Dean Kamen, founder of the U.S. Foundation for Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology, better known as FIRST. FIRST engages kids in elementary through high school grades in competitive robotics competitions that provide youth with opportunities to work with professional mentors and learn science, math and engineering skills in fun, enduring and rewarding ways, with over $16 million in scholarships for participating high schoolers.
“The assumption that drove the creation of FIRST, “ Kamen said in an interview with PTC last year, “ was
you get what you celebrate in a free culture, and the reason America was slipping compared to a lot of its peers around the world—particularly in kids getting involved with and mastering science and technology—was not bad teachers or bad schools, it wasn’t what we don’t have. It was the fact that as a rich country we have so many distractions that have created for kids role models that prevent them from working hard at things that matter.”
In the last few weeks, I was so immersed in working with students , their mentors and the local business community supporting kids in “working hard at the things that matter,” that I almost missed an equally important debate on things that matter to us here in Tampa Bay involving a big box retailer and the substantive public tax payer incentive that county officials want to give the store to open shop in our community.
The Tampa Bay Times reports that the Hillsborough County Commission is considering contributing $6.25 million (down from $15 million, initially) toward road improvements around “The Estuary”, an enormous, ironically named shopping plaza planned between Falkenburg Road and Interstate 75 – currently the site of Florida pine scrub, and a good 15 miles inland from any chance of an “estuary”, which is by definition a partially enclosed body of coastal water where freshwater from rivers and streams meets and mixes with salt water from the ocean and actually does something physically, biologically, environmentally and even economically useful, by virtue of the recreational opportunities our coastline offers.
Besides the sad fact that “The Estuary” shopping center is going to completely destroy anything remotely natural – estuarian or otherwise – in the area of planned development, developers predictions of “ annual sales of $61.8 million, generating state and local sales taxes” and “property assessment climbing to $16.4 million, boosting taxes on land now used for agriculture” ring hollow in light of the facts, and misleading in light of “things that matter.”
Bass Pro’s track record and the history of big tax incentives for major retailers suggest assurances that “ Hillsborough could break even on its $15 million investment by 2018” are probably more than a little inflated. More important, though: Do we truly believe that subsidized shopping offers a real return on our investment towards our collective future?
Bass Pro projects it would create 369 permanent, full-time jobs in addition to 1,517 temporary construction jobs over five years, and the entire shopping plaza development is project to create 1,327 retail jobs.
But the fact is, says a report by the Public Accountability Initiative that examined such claims (Fishing for Taxpayer Cash), “Bass Pro often fails to deliver on its promises as an economic development anchor and major tourist destination – promises which were used to reel in government subsidies. Its stores successfully attract shoppers, but often do not produce sought-after economic benefits associated with major tourist destinations,” and taxpayers in places like Cincinnati, Harrisburg PA, and Bakersfield, CA “ have been left with high levels of debt and fiscal stress as a result of Bass Pro Projects.”
“Retail is not economic development. People don’t suddenly have more money to spend on hip waders because a new Bass Pro or Cabela’s comes to town,” Greg Leroy, executive director of Good Jobs First, a non-partisan economic development watchdog group based in Washington, D.C., told The Atlantic Cities in an article last summer . ”All that happens is that money spent at local mom and pop retailers shifts to these big box retailers. When government gives these big box stores tax dollars, they are effectively picking who the winners and losers are going to be.”
Larry Whitely, a spokesman for Bass Pro Shops, argued in the article that their stores “should be viewed as an amenity being added to a community — much like one might view a park or a library. …”These aren’t just stores – they are natural history museums. Every store is designed to reflect the unique natural environment of the area in which it is located.” “
Aside, again, from the basic fact that the store, by virtue of its construction, would be destroying a unique natural environment in the area in which it is to be located, $6.5 million would buy a lovely real natural history museum , park or library with a far greater return on the investment, socially, aesthetically, academically, environmentally and economically. $6.5 million dollars could also address food insecurity, make a serious impact on homelessness, pay for new teachers, finance school improvements, or make a nice deposit on a light rail system.
From a purely personal perspective, $6.5 million could fund a couple or three FIRST robotics STEM education robotics teams in every one of Hillsborough County’s nearly 160 K-12 schools for years, helping create the type of scientifically literate people Florida needs for a truly economically successful future. Because the real path to future prosperity in Florida and nationally, economic development experts are saying, is growing a knowledge based economy,not a consumer based one.
A knowledge based economy is one that is “driven by research, ideas, innovations, and technical skills to generate high-impact economic benefits and high-wage jobs. Strong sustainable knowledge economies
- Are able to sell goods and services at a higher profit margin than others;
- Earn average wages up to $25,000 more than non-knowledge-based communities, and;
- Are able to perform and execute business through more cost-effective and efficient relationships.
In the “New Economy Index” report of states by the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation, which evaluates states on a similar “knowledge based” formula, Florida ranked 21st – and dropping.
“Some have argued that, given the economic downturn, now is not the time to focus on innovation,”
observed the report’s authors. “rather, our chief concern should be job creation. Yet, fostering innovation and creating jobs are by no means mutually exclusive. To the contrary, most studies of the issue have found that innovation is positively correlated to job growth in the mid- to long-term.”
By a correlation factor of 0.87, notes one author – ” in fact exponentially proportional to KEI (Knowledge Economic Indicator) , ie higher the KEI, higher is the per capita income of that country and vice versa. Highest KEI is of Denmark at 9.58 on a scale of 1 to 10, and the lowest KEI is of Myanmar at 0.96 at rank 145.” (Express Tribune-)
Among the key findings in Change the Equation’s Florida Vital Signs report, “Florida needs a world class education system and seamless talent supply chain to meet workforce demands at all skill levels. STEM – science, technology, engineering and math – is of the utmost priority if Florida is to achieve its long term goal.”
Nowhere in that report is there a call for more consumer opportunities or retail jobs.
“Before handing taxpayer money to Bass Pro projects, ” concludes the Public Accountability Initiative report, ” public officials should consider what some other cities are going through as a result of Bass Pro-anchored projects that have fallen short: high levels of debt and fiscal duress, lackluster development, vacancy and blight, and lower-than-expected tax revenues. Considering the potential consequences, it is imperative for public officials and taxpayers to take the proper steps to ensure that they are not subsidizing an underperforming development: ask straightforward questions of Bass Pro and project developers, demand transparency and data, secure contractual guarantees that limit cannibalization, and, above all, consider alternatives. There is no good reason to subsidize development that sells cities short and leaves taxpayers on the hook.”
Public officials – and the public – should also consider what really matters to Florida’s future and help us build a Knowledge economy that will serve us and future generations far better, and make us far more productive and competitive than any retail chain store ever will. If, as Dean Kamen says, and as I fully agree, we get what we celebrate, and the best we can do is Bass Pro Shops , then that’s all we’ll get.
If, however, we choose to celebrate creative productivity and scientific and technical literacy and achievement, we’ll get so much more than we could ever have imagined!
Make 2013 a Love Note!
Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~Hal Borland
Of all the images I captured this year – sweeping Alaskan vistas, Ozark valleys, majestic marshes, beautiful animals and amazing skyscapes – it is this goofy but joyful family portrait that seems to both sweetly sum up the past year, and to beautifully illustrate my hopes for the new one. Everyone in the photo has suffered some hardship or loss over the past year: the passing of close loved ones, the loss of jobs, accidents, and health problems. And still we dance.
In the wonderful poem, “What If” , by Ganga White, Director of the White Lotus Foundation yoga center in California, White asks:
What if our religion was each other?
If our practice was our life?
If prayer was our words?
What if the Temple was the Earth?
If forests were our church?
If holy water—the rivers, lakes and oceans?
What if meditation was our relationships?
If the Teacher was life?
If wisdom was self-knowledge?
If love was the center of our being
Think about it: What if your life really was your worship? Regardless of what you believe or don’t believe , what if each day was treated as holy and sacred in the Temple of Earth? What if your life was one big Love Note? Consider how you would live then, and you will have your way forward into a future where the only resolution you need is the resolve to live in joy, compassion and thanks giving.
Wishing you a New Year rich with opportunities for good choices, and thoughtful and intentional ways of being, and wishing all of us the strength of our convictions to help create a world in which love, reverence, and gratitude are central to our lives.
Happy New Year. Look after each other.
An Evergreen Discussion at Spirit of Life UU, December 30th
On Sunday, December 30th, I’ll be speaking at Spirit of Life Unitarian Universalists, on the topic of “Living GREEN.”
It’s a topic near and dear to my heart: What choices can we make in the course of our day to day living to leave a smaller ecological footprint on the world, while leaving a bigger, more socially meaningful one?
I believe “Living Green” is nothing more and nothing less than living with intentionality. I’m the first to admit I fall far short of the lofty noble goals of the eco-friendly lifestyle, but like any worthwhile effort, the journey is as important as the destination.
At the surface, living an ecologically sustainable lifestyle may look principally to be about conscious consumerism. But at heart, it’s about understanding that everything we do – from what we buy to what we eat, to what we say and how we act – affects everything else.
In the Unitarian Universalist tradition, we call that the “Interdependent web” , at the heart of our 7th Principle: Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part. – and at the heart of what I love about my chosen faith, that it so richly, creatively and meaningfully recognizes that we are all connected.
Or, as Walt Whitman put it: “For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you…” In this capacity, “living green” becomes more than an ecologically conscious lifestyle: It becomes a socially conscious one, one that recognizes our responsibility to care for one another, as well as our environment, and that nurturing one nurtures the other.
Join me, Sunday, December 30th, at Spirit of Life UU, at 18412 Burrell Road in Odessa, FL, at 11 am to consider a fresh, Green start to your New Year.
We Must Be Better Than This
We challenge the culture of violence when we ourselves act in the certainty that violence is no longer acceptable, that it’s tired and outdated no matter how many cling to it in the stubborn belief that it still works and that it’s still valid. ~Gerard Vanderhaar
This afternoon, when I came home from a lovely outing with my 24 year old daughter, our arms loaded with groceries, conversation still warm on our lips, we were greeted at the door by MILlie – my poor misguided, mal-focused mother-in-law – with news of today’s mass shooting. I had heard nothing of it. I had been on a hike with my daughter, enjoying as always any time we get together outdoors. I had picked up some gluten free cookies for my 20 year old son, while we were out. We had chatted about their 22 year old sister, and what things must be like where she is in Alaska right now. We had not listened to the radio, but to each other, and the day had been sweet with comfortable togetherness.
But now MILlie was telling me about a mass shooting at a school, and that 27 people had died, and I became angry. Did that happen here? I asked her. No, she said. It happened in Connecticut. That’s awful, I told her, but there’s nothing I can do about it; watching endless news reports of it (as I rightly assumed she’d been doing) wouldn’t make it better. She tried again to tell me more, but I wouldn’t listen.
As I put the groceries away, I thought about how to explain what repulsed me about these media stories. Hearing the urgent tones on the news in the background, I wondered why we do this to ourselves, all of it, from the madness of the one, to the voyeurism of the many.
You know why I don’t like hearing these things? I asked MILlie. Because it’s disrespectful to the families and their terrible losses. It makes a sideshow out of unimaginable personal tragedy, reduces it to sound bites between commercials for holiday shopping and Viagra. It both diminishes the horror through numbing repetition – a horror that rightly should be gut wrenching and unendurable – and inadvertently glorifies it, setting a new standard of watchable violence for the next unbalanced gun man to attempt to exceed.
She looked at me blankly, and then said, No, they’re just sharing new information, and she turned back to the TV, detached even as she was concerned, watching in conflicted cluelessness, probably like thousands of others glued to their TVs in the delusion of gaining knowledge, and perhaps some semblance of control, in this unfathomable story.
After dinner, I wanted to sit down to write holiday cards – they’re already late. But I knew I had to learn what had actually happened, to get the facts of the matter, so I read the news online, alone where I could parse it out carefully – and my heart broke.
It was an elementary school.
Twenty children between the ages of five and ten were murdered.
The children were killed by a 20 year old gunman, barely out of childhood himself.
On a day when I was out with my daughter, buying cookies for my son, thinking of my other daughter far from home, twenty children died for absolutely nothing but the whim of an emotionally damaged man-child, who also took his own life.
Twenty children who won’t see Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or a New Year. Twenty children whose families will never experience the holidays the same way ever again; presents never opened, dinners never shared, milestones never reached – families who will never know the joy of spending time with their grown children, a lifetime of history between them as they grow ever older and more familiar.
All of that lost. All those lives, all those stories, all those loves and lifetimes, over some asinine nonsense, some imaginary vendetta carried out on children by a man barely grown out of his own youth and wielding a gun under whatever illusion people wield guns on other people.
We are better than this, says the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, in an online letter writing campaign to urge “a real national conversation … bringing together Americans from across the nation and across the political spectrum, to call for real solutions — solutions that recognize the Second Amendment right to bear arms — solutions with the only goal of preventing gun violence.
“…. We are better than this this. We must work to make the voice of the American public heard. We all just want to live in a safer nation.”
Are we better than this?
I would like to believe we are. I really wanted to be getting those Christmas cards out tonight, but instead, I’m looking at our Christmas
tree, our holiday time capsule, my daughter calls it, with its almost geologic layers of family history ornamenting its branches. There are souvenirs of family vacations, little ballerina shoes hearkening back to years of dance classes, and glass treble clefs from the piano playing period. There are Starwars ornaments and a Hogwarts owl, physics joke ornaments and homemade paper ones and even one made out of duct tape. Our Christmas tree is a family totem.
As I look at it, lit with white lights and hung round with timeless memories, my heart aches for all those families who may never want to see another Christmas, for whom ever carol is now a dirge. I’m thinking of all those childhoods never realized. And I’m thinking of how we make a mockery out of human tragedy by calling it news when it all it is, is virtual rubbernecking.
In the news story I glanced through, were children’s comments – 8 and 9 year olds “interviewed” for the news piece. I saw them briefly on the evening news as well. What the hell is that? How is that news? Who interviews a child at a mass murder site. Who calls the grandmother of the shooter to get her thoughts – after both her daughter and her grandson are dead, and her grandson is responsible for the deaths of 20 children, something she will never understand?
That’s not news. That’s not reporting. That’s not information. That’s American bread and circuses, a hideous media sham, masquerading as news.
Are we better than this? God, I hope so! I so want to believe we are, that we can have intelligent dialog about important issues without
resorting to polarized lambasting; that we can find healthy, rational ways to help the troubled among us, that the media recognizes the role it plays in exacerbating the worst of our social ills with sensationalist “reporting” that substitutes sound for substance, and that we, as Americans, can “challenge the culture of violence” by collectively letting it be known that violence, in any form, is no longer acceptable.
I said I couldn’t do anything. But I can. You can. We all can. We can’t accept this any longer.
For the love of all our children, we must be better than this.
Block Friday: A Better Way to Spend the Day after Thanksgiving
Let’s take back Black Friday to be mindful of the way we spend our time and money. BlockFriday.org
Tee shirt and wallet company Holstee , in what may be considered a commercially and fiscally ironic move, is leading the “Block Friday” effort.
According to CoExist, Holstee co-founder Michael Radparvar said the company elected to “create something participatory, by renaming Friday, November 23, as “Block Friday,” a day to “block off” for something meaningful, whether it’s hanging out with friends and family or being outside.
““The goal is to get as many people as possible to consider one question: ‘This Thanksgiving, what are you blocking Friday for?’” says Radparvar, who plans to use the day to see old friends in his hometown of Providence, Rhode Island. “There’s no wrong answer.”"
Yesterday, our family set the tone for the weekend with some remarkably nice family time capped off by a little silliness (see above). Today we’re hanging out, reading, writing, talking. It’s quiet and peaceful. I’d rather be here with a handful of loved ones, than in a crush of shoppers buying presents no one will remember after Christmas. That dancing photo above? We’ll all remember and talk about that for years!
Is staying home today bad for the economy? I don’t think so. I think we need to find a new economic model based less on ”stuff” and more on knowledge and creativity. That’s another topic altogether, of course, but for today at least, maybe we can take a holiday from the onslaught of commercialism and enjoy the gift of meaningful living.
Want to play along? Share your Block Friday plans and pics on YouTube and Twitter with the hashtag #blockfriday and #holstee to add your declarations to Holstee’s digital archive.
Live in Thanks Giving
My Love Note to you this Thanksgiving: Wishing you a joyful day with family and friends, and the peace and understanding to live in Thanks Giving year round!



















